Fairy tales and Hollywood

I have come to realize that though Fairy tales and movies from Hollywood can be very entertaining to people they also have their downfalls. Fairy tales have the tendency to cause small children to have distorted dreams and visions of their future that can last throughout their life. For example, in the movies it shows love at first sight, there is just "the look" in their eyes that cannot be mistaken. Sure two people may be able to be attracted to one another at first sight but in all reality you have to know the person to love them. I believe that the best way for a relationship to survive it must first be grounded on a friendship. Take Snow White for example, She meets the prince and they are instantly in love...the Witch tries to kill her and she falls into a deep sleep, then her and the prince share in true loves kiss and they live happily ever after. But in real life it may be that there isn't that instant attraction but that it soon may be developed over time of friendship with one another. Though, if a young girl is hoping for that moment when their eyes meet for the first time and they are just in love, and it doesn't come at first, she may give up and miss out on any chance of true love.

A young girl may also begin to believe that they have the power to change someones life drastically, such as in Beauty and the Beast. Yes, a woman may have some hold over a man when they are in love and may have some power to lead the man to want to be a better person, though, a young girl must NOT get into a relationship with a guy who is not on the right track and hope to change them.

I speak completely from experience. I was once that little girl who thought that she could change a man and hoped to find love at first sight. Fairy Tales are not reality.

The beauty of the Desert

Today was such a beautiful day! I went to my class today as usual, which went very well. On my way home I took the scenic route so I could take some pictures of the beautiful wild flowers growing all over the open fields and on the side of the roads. Yellow ones, orange ones, white ones, and purple ones...it was just gorgeous! I also must say I love the look of the flowers either against wood or against rocks...it just gives it such a refreshing look. Here are some photos I took.

My greatest weakness

I do believe that my greatest weakness is the fact that I just cannot talk to people, even about things that are so very important to my heart. Today I went soul winning with the church. I don't do the door to door knocking due to me being so shy and unable talk, I go putting tracks on doors without knocking...that seems to be comfortable enough for me. Well, today there was a guy sitting outside in his yard smoking his cigarette...I immediately stiffened but tried approaching him as casual as I possibly could. I had my little sister and a friend following close behind me. finally I approached and said as joyfully as I could, "Hi, we're from Calvary Baptist Church and we're out inviting people to church. Can I give this to you?" he said yes, so I gave him the track and told him to have a nice day and turned around and started walking away. Before I got anywhere he said "Is that it, you don't have nothin special to tell me?" I froze right where I was then turned around slowly. I was thinking "this guy is going to challenge me, huh?" I was scared out of my mind. "What do I say to him?" I thought. I walked back towards him and said, "Well, Jesus loves you very much, and-and-uh, he died on the cross for your sins and umm Him and I would love-would love to have you at church. What could I say ? I must have seemed so stupid to him! He began asking me questions that I had no idea about. He also asked what we as baptists believe...like if our doctrine is focused on John the baptist or something. I got to tell him that we believe in Christ, God's son, and that he came to die for our sins on the cross, he said that he believed that too. So I just finished with "our church teaches strictly from the Bible. We would love to see you some day if you can make it. Have a nice day." And we all went walking on our way. How could I not even be able to speak about the Lord without freezing?! I just hope that God isn't too displeased with me. Well, I suppose this is just an issue I need to be praying about.

The Pressure

Today in class I realized just how different I am than all the other students. Sometimes I feel so out of place. Today, a young man asked me what I thought about marijuana...he wanted to get my "religious" point of view. Of course I know what I believe about all drugs but when confronted about my beliefs I freeze. I hate that about me...I'm just too shy and scared. I obviously don't know much about drugs because I have not experienced it first hand but I do know what I believe. I believe that we should keep our minds open and clear so that we don't destroy our lives. Drugs can tear families apart as well as your bodies in the long run. I know someone very close to me that was into drugs, maybe not marijuana, but nonetheless was into drugs. His life was nearly destroyed...we never saw him. He suffered severely from mental issues and some other things. I couldn't tell the young man much of anything because my mind went blank. I felt so stupid. He said I was the only one in the class that had a negative view about marijuana.

In class we are in the process of writing an argumentative essay with a partner. We chose to do ours off of abortion. Being a christian woman I believe that it is completely wrong. On the other hand, my partner believes it is okay in "necessary" situations. I had to tell her my perspective and she made me just feel like I was like a "religious freak" or something. Standing up for what you believe can sometimes be a very difficult thing to do.

On the subject of "religion"...I hate it when people put it that way. I am not in a religion. "Religion is man trying to work their way to God, Christianity is God coming to man through a relationship with Jesus Christ"~Unknown. I just wish everyone else could understand what I believe. It makes life so complicated when you are so often misunderstood. I know God will give me strength.

What is Love?

Last week in English class we were learning how to write a definition essay. On the board we did examples and one thing she wanted us to define was love. It caused me to think for a second when I heard a couple students say "what is love?" while others bashed the very gift they were given. I wrote down on my paper what word came to my mind first, which was "action". Several minutes later the teacher wrote on the board that it was a feeling...I don't know, that seemed to kinda rub me the wrong way. So I decided to use "What is Love" as my topic to write my paper...mostly just to remind myself of what love really is. Here is my paper I wrote:

Some say love is a feeling, but in all reality, it is so much more than just that. Love is a choice, an action, and completely selfless. For example, love is a choice. In order to love someone, a conscience decision must be made. A person must choose to love someone for whom they are entirely, in spite of all their faults. Two people who love each other must choose to be there for one another. Second love is an action. So much work goes into love. In order for love to survive it requires all of you, not just a piece or even just most of you, but, every segment of your being. Instead of just saying love, show love. Another characteristic of love is selflessness. Love gives without expecting anything in return. When a person loves someone, they put the other person’s needs and desires above their own. They think of the other person first before they think of themselves. Yes, love is a choice, it is an action, and it is a chance to be selfless, and moreover, the most important thing in life. Love is truly a gift from God.

A new challenge

Life is definitely a challenge. Today in class I found out what we're doing next and it is so intimidating to me. We are going to be writing an argumentation essay, and we have to do it with a partner...that in itself intimidates me. We have to come up with a topic which we're not even quite sure what to do with that. I'm don't even quite understand everything about it. I guess I just need to prepare myself for a new and exciting challenge and adventure.

Forgiveness

Tonight the sermon was GREAT! It was based on forgiveness. We read in Matthew 6:8-15. Here are my notes I took:

Matthew 6:8-15~ Be not therefore like unto them: for your Father knoweth what things ye have need of, before ye ask him.
After this manner therefore pray ye: our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil: For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever. Amen.
For if we forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

When you let things fester inside of you it has a tendency to control you. When you get hurt by someone, don't hold it inside, it's only a waste of time and strength. Don't leave things unreconciled and unresolved. When you leave things to build up inside of you it's like a cancer, it eats at you and only gets worse and gets you more angry. Did you ever stop and think of how much God has forgiven you? And yet, you can't forgive someone else? We are always going to have disagreements with people we come across in relationships, friendships, people we work with, just life, but if you don't get things resolved it will end in bitterness. If you refuse to forgive when forgiveness is requested the Father doesn't' want to forgive us either. Always remember...what you cause not only effects you but the people around you as well. So forgive.

You know, it is so funny, when I got home I was telling daddy how I had liked the sermon and he says "Oh, who have you not forgiven?" I just chuckled. There is not anyone at this point that I need to forgive anything of but it is always nice to be reminded and refreshed upon the things of the Lord. Now I get to just store it away and save it for a later time all the while reflecting upon it's promises.

And the days not over

Today has been an awesome day for me!! I had school today and it went great! I had my 50 word vocab test today in my reading class and I got a 100...I have not yet gotten any lower than 100 on my vocab tests. That makes me feel so good. I even got myself to sit next to someone new and different than usual...that is totally not like me, I'm usually way too shy!

I have been having troubles with my arm, it hurts so bad but I have not let that get in the way of having a productive day. I got the kitchen all clean and am now making dinner...of course I also went to school.:-) I feel so accomplished.:D

There are revival services at church this week...they started yesterday. I get to go tonight. I love the speaker that comes for the revivals our church holds. Brother Mershon is an excellent speaker...he gets right to the point and says it out straight, he seems to have a way to convict you...I guess I have to say it is the Lord through him that convicts you. I can't wait, I seem to feel closer to the Lord when we have revival.

Life just keeps getting better

Well, I just started school this past January...not by my choice might I add. I was going to fall off of my dads insurance and I so badly need my health insurance because I have always had health issues. I did not want to go at all and was fighting the whole way through...even though I should know better considering the fact that I am now 20 years old! My parents, though, have been so encouraging to me the whole way through and never gave up on me. For months I kept telling my parents that I wanted to quit, but of course, they didn't let their daughter give up. I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I LOVE school now! I am actually learning.=) I am now determined to become a writer. A couple of my teachers and several students have told me that I am talented in writing. Well, I mean, my family has always told me that but I didn't know if it was just because they loved me or not. I guess I should just take their word for it. I hope to be able to publish a book sometime in my near distant future. I write poetry which only comes from God...I give Him full credit.

For the last couple of years I have not been living my life to it's fullest, I have discovered that through going to school. School has totally opened up my mind to all sorts of dreams and desires. About 3 years ago I had my very first relationship and it ended in a terrible heart break. I was sure I was going to marry the guy but obviously it did not work out. I grew bitter towards God and basically gave up on living. I stopped doing all the things that I love to do, like playing my clarinet. I used to never give up on anything and was an extremely hard worker...I loved to work. Well, I fell away from everything I knew to be right in the sight of the Lord...I even hated going to church which I have always loved to do. Something inside of me, though, has just recently clicked. I am now back to living my life and loving it! It has only been one week but I am down the right path once again. God is so good! I hope to finish school and fulfil my dream of being a writer. This past week has only been the beginning! Now I live!!!

The Gentle Whisperer

Long have I lived in darkness-
The life in me had disappeared.
I was hardly living.
Too afraid of life
And not getting what I wanted,
I slipped away from the Lord
And betrayed all I knew to be right,
Only adding more to my grief.
Imprisoned by my selfishness and quiet disgrace
God sent me an angel-
A creature of such grace and light…
My Mother; my gentle whisperer.
With such tenderness and care she led me-
Led me to my knees; a secret place of prayer.
Gently her words caressed me
Showing me which way I should go.
Her love for me is shown in the kindest ways-
Leading me back into the loving arms of God.
The sweetest peace I now know,
Overwhelming me within…
A peace I have never had.
I love my mother…
My gentle whisperer.

Hard times

These days are becoming so difficult for everybody. People out of jobs or about to get out of a job...suffering to find work anywhere. Even the little children suffer. Last night, daddy and I went to the grocery store just for a couple of things. There, in line in front of us, was a young boy who looked to be about the age of 14 or so...he was wearing torn up clothes and an old baseball cap. It looked as if his mother sent him for a run to the grocery store for a simple little list that she had made up. In my thoughts, I imagined his mother told him to get a little something for himself with the left over change...to repay his kind service. Well, he brought to the counter a Monster, eyes filled with excitement, only to find he was short just a little. He had to kindly and humbly ask the cashier to take his Monster off the list. So sadly he handed it back to her and payed her the money he owed and went on his way. Just an honest young boy shopping for his mother and he couldn't even get the one little thing he wanted. I wished I could have helped him out, but of course, me and my family are suffering as well. Of course this is only a story I made up in my head of what might have been going on with the boy, his groceries, and the Monster, but it hit me so hard.

The Gentle whisperer

I just wanted to add more to what I was talking about last time. My mom is so very special and very important in my life. This is something I wrote yesterday:

Long have I lived in darkness-
The life in me had disappeared;
No more was I living.
Too afraid of life
And not getting what I wanted,
I slipped away from the Lord
And betrayed all I knew to be right,
Only adding more to my grief.
Imprisoned by my selfishness and quiet disgrace
God sent me an angel-
A creature of such grace and light…
My Mother; my gentle whisperer.
With such tenderness and care she led me-
Led me to my knees; a secret place of prayer.
Gently her words caressed me
Showing me which way I should go.
Her love for me is shown in the kindest ways-
Leading me back into the loving arms of God.
The sweetest peace I now know
Overwhelming me within…
A peace I have never had.
I love my mother…
My gentle whisperer.