Clarinet

The other day I was watching some videos on YouTube of the clarinet being played. There were some AWESOME clarinetists that I found. There was one in particular, Jorg Widmann, who played a song called "Fantasie" . . . it was amazing! The guy had great control over his clarinet, which left me in awe. Hearing all those clarinetists playing made me miss playing MY clarinet. I started playing the clarinet around the age of thirteen or fourteen. I taught myself for the most part, but began taking lessons a couple years later when I joined the Jr. Philharmonic. I only had lessons for a couple years off and on. I used to LOVE playing my clarinet . . . I would practice my clarinet for up to four or five hours every day! It was rare only to play an hour . . . that was only when I was just too busy. But I never played less than an hour a day. I was first clarinetist in the local Jr. Philharmonic . . . first out of two or three clarinetists. I was involved in several music competitions . . . never really placed . . . except for one time that there were only two contestant, that time I won second and third place for singing and clarinet. When I was eighteen I began having a lot of problems with my jaw and had to start wearing a splint on my lower jaw, which caused a lot of pain because it was forcing my jaw into the right position. So . . . sadly, I had to quit the orchestra and couldn't hardly play for several months because the pain was too great. After being out of playing for so long I had a hard time getting back into it, so I didn't even pick my clarinet back up for almost a year. I have tried getting back into it several times, but have failed every time. I play for church every Sunday, but that's it. I rarely pick it up otherwise. Right now I am having a hard time focusing on everything I love to do (playing the clarinet, singing, photography, and writing). It just seems like too many things to be able to do them all. I need to figure out a way to keep all these things in my life because they all mean so much to me. Today I played my clarinet for a little while . . . it was like I had never stopped. Music soothes me . . . I couldn't survive without it. I have uploaded a slide of pictures I have taken accompanied by a track of a song I played. There are a few mistakes, but it's decent.

The Story of Life

Life is like a good book . . . it has a beginning, a middle, and an end. A good book is full of adventure, love, happiness, sadness, hate, pain, frustration, and failure . . . much like life. Each person has a unique story . . . and no one can see the whole story at once (aside from God) . . . you must survive one page at a time. Write your story so that it would be worth reading when life is over and you and God take a look at what you've done with your life. Make someone smile or laugh . . . share God's love, it is then that you'll see everything else between is worth it. Live one day at a time, taking each experience and growing from it. Write your life story so that when you enter into God's presence He will hold His arms out to you and say "Welcome home my child, well done."

So often I view life wrong. I want the good and easy things in life, but want to get by without any pain or frustration . . . or most of all -- failure. I, myself, am a writer . . . or at least try to be . . . I know that a book could not be any good if all it has is happiness and bliss. What would life be without pain, frustration or failure? We would never grow or mature -- we would never truly know what it means to live. Life is often hard, but when we trust God, we triumph and overcome the many obstacles that cloud our way. God never promised that life would be easy . . . we live in a world that is corrupt, how could it be easy? But God does promise that he would not leave us. Each experience we go through builds us up to be the person we are meant to be. I want my story to be one that would show God's love and power -- a story that my Saviour would be pleased with.

Allowing God to do His Job

I have come to realize today that I feel very deeply when others suffer. It effects me almost as if I was the one struggling. I joy in trying to help others and often feel as though I have failed when the struggle continues within the other person. As I was sitting here tonight reading my Bible I realized that maybe I was taking these situations out of God's hands when I would feel as though I failed. I am to allow God to work through me . . . but I am nothing but a tool in His hand. I can speak truths and share what God's word says, but then the rest isn't up to me . . . it's up to HIM. After I have said all that I can, my part is then to pray diligently and let God do the rest. All along my intenstions may have been good, but I was not trusting GOD to do his part.