Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Praying Mothers

A mothers love is so rare...so precious; a true gift from above. The poem "Mothers elbows on my bed" is so very precious to me...it reminds me of the very love of MY mother. So often children face hard times in their life when they seem to turn away from what is good and in my case it was my mother to keep me in check. Just recently I was falling away from all that I knew to be right and was completely lost. My mom never ceased to pray for me and I am happy to say I heading down the right path again. Mother's prayers are never done as they pray for their children. A mothers love can not be beaten.
Mothers elbows on my bed
I was but a youth and thoughtless,
As all youths are apt to be;
Though I had a christian mother
Who had taught me carefully,
But there came a time when pleasure
Of the world came to allure,
And I had no more sought the guidance
Of her love so good a pure.
Her tender admonitions fell
But lightly on my ear,
And for her gentle warnings
I felt an inward sneer.
How could I prove my manhood
Where I not firm of will?
No threat of future evil
Should all my pleasure kill.
But mother would not yield her boy
To Satan's sinful sway,
No more she tried to caution
Of ways she knew it's pain.
And though I guessed her heartache
I could not know it's pain.
She made my room an altar,
A place of secret prayer,
And there she took her burden
And left it in His care.
And morning, noon, and evening
But that humble bedside low,
She sought the aid of Him who
Best can understand a mothers woe.
And I went my way unheeding,
Careless of the life I led,
Until one day I noticed
Prints of elbows on my bed.
Then I saw that she had been there
Praying for her wayward boy,
Who for love of worldly pleasure
Would her peace of mind destroy.
While I wrestled with my conscience,
Mother wrestled still in prayer,
Till that little room seemed hallowed
Because so oft she met Him there.
With her God she held the fortress,
And though not a word she said,
My stubborn heart was broken
By those imprints on my bed.
Long the conflict raged within me,
Sin against my mothers prayers.
Sin must yield for mother never
While she daily met Him there.
And her constant love and patience
Where like coals upon my head,
Together with the imprints
Of her elbows on my bed.
Mother-love and God-love
Are a combination rare,
And one that can't be beaten
When sealed by earnest prayer.
And so at last the fight was won,
And I to Christ was led,
And mothers prayers where answered
By her elbows on my bed.
~Unknown~

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

My haunting past

When I was little I was extremely shy. I could hardly express my true self to even my mom. I so badly wanted to come out, as I was lost inside of myself. I wanted to believe I was a human being like anybody else. I wanted to feel like I had a place to belong...I always felt so lonely. I wanted to feel excepted so bad that I made very bad friends, they abused me emotionally and physically. To this day I have a hard time letting go of the past and the pain I felt long ago. I am learning to live my life in the now and just trust in the Lord and hope in the fact that he has made me a new person and that all old things are passed away.

My past seems to hang over me
Like a dark cloud in the sky.
Such a dark memory,
When in the night I would cry.
Many years I have wasted
As I struggled to find my way.
The pain I felt before
Comes to me like rain to pour.
Why must it haunt me so?
This I may never know.
In my dreams I see the darkness;
The loneliness I felt so long ago.
In the dark night it haunts me.
Please, Lord, in the past let it go!
No longer will I live in darkness...
Living only in faith and trust.
The future may seem so unsure,
But God's love for me is, oh, so pure.
Knowing he has my best at hand,
I will follow his command.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

My Disastrous 20th Birthday

This past weekend was my birthday, and you might say, it went a little disastrous. Hmmm, where shall I begin? Well, the morning was quite ordinary and went, I'd say, pretty well. In the afternoon my big brother took me to go see a movie and went and got dessert. We had a great time together laughing and just happy to be together. For the evening we had a nice little party planned with several friends invited. When I got home I received a few phone calls, people telling me they could not make it. So then I was expecting six friends and my grandparents. I was expecting two of my friends to arrive a little late. One was driving from Whittier and the other was getting out of work late...that was OK, at least I would see them for my special day. Momma made me dinner ( whatever I wanted) and we also had a nice big cake to share. My friend from Whittier finally made it and we had a pretty good time, though, all the while I was a little sad for my other friends still hadn't made it. We had karaoke and had a good time socializing. My night ended in tears because I felt that there was just something wrong with me because nobody could make it and my friends never showed up. I balled my eyes out, we had tons of extra food and I had a saddened countenance due to no one able to come. Until my momma and good friend I have known since we were nine comforted me and reminded me that I am loved by many...even if no one was able to make it.