Every night, I dread going to bed. I lay there in bed completely still -- listening. I'm just waiting for the moment I hear the voices of men outside my window again. I hear a noise and I peek outside . . . I know that if I actually see someone I would probably scream like nothing else, but I just have to know. Last night I think was the hardest night for me since we found out there had been guys out there listening to us. It was so windy outside and every noise only made my fear grow. This whole thing has me really jumpy and tense. I now see that those things I've heard of out in the world really could become a reality to even me . . . it now has become "real" to me. I almost feel like every stranger is a potential threat. I am afraid to go anywhere by myself now. I had to go to class this morning and I was trying to find any way out of it . . . of course with no success. I always feel like I'm being watched now . . . in my own house. It seems crazy!
I feel like such a wimp.
I have now decided that I have had enough. I'm pretty sure that we are ok now. We closed all our front windows and are now putting up TONS of lights in our front yard . . . if that doesn't do it, I don't know what will. Even if these men decide to try to come back, I just have to place it in the Lords hands. I must trust Him to take care of me!
So . . . tonight, I will try to go to bed with confidence that I am in the Lords hands.
Proverbs 3: 24-26 ~ When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet.
Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh.
For the Lord shall be thy confidence, and shall keep thy foot from being taken.
Psalm 118:6 ~ The Lord is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me?
Psalm 56:11 ~ In God have I put my trust: I will not be afraid what man can do unto me.
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