Dreams of Grandeur

For as long as I can remember I have had dreams of grandeur . . . dreams that seem nearly impossible to achieve.

When I was a young teenager, I wanted to be a great musician. I play the clarinet and sing. Some tell me I have the voice of an angel and that I play so beautifully. I have never seen this of myself, but that didn't stop me from loving music more than almost anything. I wanted to be a world-renowned musician!

Then in my later teens, I still loved music, but I also loved writing. I loved to write poetry and write short stories. I wanted to one day be a published writer . . . one that others would see and admire.

But then in my early twenties, I wanted to be a famous professional photographer. I love taking pictures of nature! It is one of the many ways I have to express myself and show others what I see.

Not too long after that, I wanted to be a graphic and web-designer. I have so much fun creating things, and it gives me great joy to see others enjoy my work for themselves. I currently design church bulletins and other things for the ministry, such as certificates and whatever else may come up.

Now . . . well, now is just a mess of dreams. I want all these things! Maybe not to the far extremes of fame and popularity, but nevertheless, I love music, writing, photography, and designing . . . I want to be somewhat good at all these things. Not to mention other small dreams that have come my way. Things like having some sort of gluten-free bakery, or having a cleaning service. I am so overwhelmed by wanting to do all the things that I enjoy that I don't even know where to start, nor do I know which is the one God meant for me to pursue as a career.

One desire I have had, which can involve several of these dreams in one career, would be working for a place like Hallmark, creating cards. But that is not an option for me. It usually requires having some sort of degree in the field, which is not possible for me because I can't afford to go to a college that offers what I need.

I'm almost sure that I am meant to pursue photography. But sometimes it just seems impossible. Pursuing photography would pretty much mean having my own business. There aren't really any local photography studios for me to work with.

I just don't know what to do!!