I thought these days were behind me. I thought this cloudy darkness -- this overwhelming depression -- had left me.
I was wrong.
Some days I feel as though the darkness is swallowing me up and there is no way for me to escape. Inside I'm screaming -- scraping the ground for some kind of hold, but on the outside no person can hear or see.
I am lost inside myself.
This is something only God can comfort and ease.
Can I find the words to pray?
God, save me from this merciless darkness!
These are the only words I can attempt to scream. Can God hear my inward plea?
Depression is literally a killer, but you can help yourself when the darkness comes -- by reaching out, rather than turning inward. Current theory is that depression is chemical, so eating well/exercise work to combat it by keeping your internal chemistry fine-tuned.
ReplyDeleteThere's also a movie I recommend: Eat Pray Love. The plot follows a 40-something woman whose life is empty, who has sheltered herself inside a cocoon so she thinks she's safe, but she has lost herself, as well as her ability to relate with others. Sit down and watch it all the way through -- then contemplate the message.
We all need to work on ourselves one way or another, but depression needs a bit more self-love than other issues we face.